dear L

I feel as if I've been writing this in my head for weeks, every passing moment I have, on my walks or in class, thinking of what I want to say to you, if we could just have one last conversation, where we can't stop laughing, like how we always did. I keep replaying moments of our little group together, over and over again, not because I want to change those moments but because they are the things that I hold the closest to my heart. I'll never forget your joy, laughter, and sassiness, which meant so much to us girls. I know I will miss even those little moments, like walking to class together, being silly at our lockers with JJ, or spilling the beads on Ivy's rug while making those cute wire bracelets, forever. But the light that you shine will never be dimmed. Your impact on us was immeasurable. You reminded us how to find beauty in chaos, how to laugh even when things felt heavy, and how to love our weird little group, to ignore the judgment of others. Everything you gave us, your joy, your strength, your spirit, has left an imprint that won’t fade, and they have become a part of the people we’re still becoming. Wherever you are, I hope you know that your light lives on in us. In every inside joke, every shared glance, every burst of unexpected laughter. We carry you. Always. Leoni, there's so much I wish to say to you, so many thoughts and feelings that words just can’t seem to captured. But please know this: I love you deeply, endlessly, and always. And I’m going to miss you more than I can ever explain. Love, Zara.